He’s toilet trained!

My son is toilet trained! 

No, that doesn’t do justice.

My son is toilet trained!!!!!

MY SON IS TOILET TRAINED!!!!

This may be my tenth child that I’ve toilet trained, but that doesn’t diminish the joy and exhilaration. I want to shout it from the roof tops – I succeeded at toilet training!!

Hands down, this strong willed four year old was the hardest one yet. Yes, you read that right. Four year old. If I was a first time mom, I would have assumed I was just a failure of a mother who just couldn’t get it right. Being the tenth time around, I KNEW that I had it in me. I knew I had what it takes, even when I felt that I didn’t.

This bright eyed stubborn little boy has been telling me confidently for months, “On my birthday, when I turn 7.” We negotiated it down to 4.

I begged, cajoled and bribed.

He got Lego sets, candy, chocolate and chips.

While my oldest kids had been rewarded with three chocolate chips, this little guy was getting a family size bar.

And still, failure. 

Half a dozen times.

We went through cycles; trying, failing, waiting.

Nothing.

I doubted my abilities but I knew I’d done it before. I was an experienced mother! I’d done this nine times!

Still my self confidence wavered.

And then two weeks ago, it was his birthday. With my closets stocked with Lego sets and chocolate bars, I was ready. There was no turning back.

“Guess what, it’s your birthday! It’s toilet training day, just like you promised!”

Little bright eyed boy looked up at me with a big winning smile and announced, “I meant when I turned five!”

This is what I’d been training for, I was ready.

“Nope! You said four and today you’re four!” I said as cheerfully as possible, trying to hide my desperate attempt at keeping it together.

And that’s how the day began. I had Deja vous as we set up shop in the bathroom, me more determined than ever. Many chocolate bars, Lego sets, days and accidents later – it’s official. He is toilet trained! HE IS TOILET TRAINED! I feel like a champion, like an Olympic gold medalist.

I really did it. 

I was both amused and proud of myself.

Proud of the accomplishment.

But amused that I was so elated.

I’m not a first time mother; this was my TENTH time doing this! Shouldn’t it have gone quicker since I’m so experienced?

And here’s the thing with being an experienced mom; I may have gained experience, but for the child, it’s still their first time. It doesn’t matter how many children I have, for each child, everything is new. What the first nine children did was irrelevant when it came to this four year old; for him, it was his first.

And for him, I was a first timer too.

A first timer with a lot of knowledge and experience – which are the tools to help ME, not the child. Experience made me wiser and more confident, but it didn’t change the reality. Because each child is their own world, and needs to learn at their pace. Because for them, they’re learning in real time. And being experienced makes it even more humbling.