Principalaphobia

Hi my name is Goldie and I suffer from principalaphobia.

I was born being scared of principals and their offices. It didn’t take any harsh and scary lectures or speeches or lessons; it was just part of my DNA. The principal says, and I do; and then I just stay under the radar and try to go unnoticed. Because one thing is for sure: I did not want to ever be called into the principal’s office.

And then I got married to an amazing husband who has endless tales about principal office visits. When I told him about my phobia, he stared at me blankly.

“They’re just people,” was the best answer he could give me. He had a good point. But I wasn’t there yet; I didn’t have the capacity to think past the fear and intimidation. 

I became a mother and that’s when the real life learning really started.

It turned out principalaphobia was a recessive gene. I discovered that not everyone is born with the same fear. Not everyone has the the same nature; even if it’s little people that I personally lugged around for nine months. They are not a copy of me. A whole new learning curve was necessary, in order for me to understand why they couldn’t just be scared of the principal and stay under the radar.

When I graduated high school, I thought I was safely far away from being called to a principals’ office or having to interact with such intimidating authority. I had made it, safe and unscathed. Unbeknownst to me, the fun was just beginning.

Since my kids’ school career began almost two decades ago, I have had more than my fair share of calls from and visits with … the big and mighty principals.

I’ve had to look myself in the mirror and remind myself loud and clear; we are all just people, trying to do our best. Oh, and also, I’m an adult. And sometimes I’m even older than the principal too. 

“You need to tell your child that they have to listen to the teacher,” I’ve heard many stern voices of authority say to me.

And I’m left thinking, “Do you really think the reason they act out is because we tell them not to listen?”

So we talk about it again; the adults and the little people in my house. About respect and teachers and responsibilities.

It turns out that I have little humans as children, not robots. And it takes so much time and patience. From everyone, especially from the principal.

What I’ve noticed is kids don’t intend to get into trouble; they don’t wake up in the morning and say today I’m going to be sent to the principal’s office.

Every child wants to succeed, and they will if they can.

And the adults are the one who have the power to make it or break it.

So is principalaphobia a healthy long term solution?

When I see a principal’s name flash on my screen once again and I immediately feel a fear and trepidation take over me, as if I’ve just broken a rule, it reminds me just how strong an inborn nature can be. Thankfully, though, my kids are even stronger. Strong enough to make me evolve and work on myself; to confront my fears and slowly change my habits.

And only then I can help them too.

Because it’s not about me; it’s about them.

It’s not about staying under the radar; it’s about making mistakes, trying your best and never giving up.

Even when you get summoned to the principal’s office.