An open letter to Lego

Dear Lego Company,

On behalf of mothers all around the world, I’d like to say thank you.

Thank you for entertaining my children for hundreds of hours over the past year.

Thank you for keeping your items so detailed and diverse, constantly changing designs and models, so that my kids are never bored.

Thank you for developing my children’s creativity and talents in the endless possibilities that there are in the world of Lego.

And the newest discovery, of being able to buy single pieces online, has done wonders for family peace in our home. And the free parts replacement that you can order when one poor little lego guy’s foot breaks has really enhanced the way my kids get along with each other.

But.

I will be honest, there are a few areas that you can improve. As an experienced Lego-fight-referee, please consider the following suggestions:

I’m sure lego does much quality testing on its products; have you ever had anyone step on them in a dark room in middle of the night while barefoot? Perhaps the pieces could be a bit more rounded at the edges and a softer plastic so I wouldn’t give a blood curdling scream when stepping on it and thus wake my children night after night.

Did you have to make the pieces in a gazillion different colors, so that no two shades of grey and green match up and we are left in a constant state of needing more lego, because we are short on a particular color?

Did you have to include such miniscule pieces that when I sweep the floor they blend in with the multitudes of crumbs and I accidentally dispose of them…and oh what a cost I pay for that.

Perhaps you can make the plastic a little more noise absorbent so that when my son walks across the wood floor holding a masterpiece and accidentally drops it, it doesn’t sound like our entire house came tumbling down?

Did you have to make so many varieties of microscopic unique pieces, and then sell them only in sets of $100 or more?

These are just a few of my suggestions, and I look forward to seeing improvements.

I must go now , as I need to pen a letter to Costco to find out who was behind the idea of playing Lego The Movie on the 500 foot TV that was on display as you entered Costco yesterday, making my trip more difficult than necessary. The least they could have done was offer babysitting so parents could shop while the kids watched.