It was exactly 3:15 when I remembered. The problem was that the appointment was 45 minutes earlier, at 2:30 pm.
And I had forgotten all about it.
It was a double well visit.
I had been determined to get well visits for all the kids done before school started, and I had missed the first two.
I was mortified. Embarrased. Annoyed.
And with no other choice, I called the Doctor’s office to admit my shortcomings; I was not supermom after all. I forgot the appointments.
“Hi, I had a 2:30 double appointment and I have a feeling I missed it…”
Before she could reprimand me, I tried to save myself some grace.
“I’m mortified. I’m so embarrassed this happened to me. I can’t believe I forgot. I have it in big letters on my calendar, I remembered this morning. I don’t know what happened…”
But the truth is, I do know what happened.
I’m running mommy camp! I want to say
All the kids are home ALL day.
And it’s 106 degrees outside.
And I’m in my ninth month.
And I had 7 appointments this month that I DID remember.
Doesn’t that count??
And I’m nesting.
And I have lists and lists of closets and drawers to organize and I haven’t gotten to a single one!
And…my house cleaner is away for the week. THE WHOLE WEEK!!
And I’m still making 3 meals and 17 snacks EVERY SINGLE DAY!!
Doesn’t that count? Shouldn’t I be excused?
But of course, I don’t think she’s interested in hearing my life story and I don’t think it’ll help.
“You missed two appointments. Barbara will call you on Monday,” she says sternly.
And I tell her the truth about how I feel. “I feel like I’m being sent to the principal. I’m so sorry about this. Please tell me what I should do.”
The more profusely I apologize, the softer her tone is slowly getting.
What’s the worse that can happen? I think to myself.
They’ll pin a picture of me on the bulletin board under “Worst Mom of the Year”?
They’ll kick me out of the practice? I don’t think the doctor wants to lose 7 patients at once.
“I’m just so sorry, I don’t know how it happened…well maybe I do,” I can’t resist adding. I do want some sympathy, after all. ” I’m in my ninth month, perhaps I’ve finally lost the last bit of non-scatterbrainedness that I had left…”
There’s a fine I have to pay for missing the appointment.
It’s not fair! I want to shout, similar to how my kids say it when they lose computer time.
You don’t understand, I was never late to school in my life! Not in elementary school, not in high school! It’s only since I became a mother that I’ve started being late or missing appointments!
Don’t judge me! It’s because I have kids! It’s not my fault!
But then I remember that I’m the mother and I must act like an adult.
We reschedule the appointments and I set up a dozen or so reminders to make sure I don’t miss it. It’s tomorrow. Perhaps I’ll bring a plate of cookies just to soothe my broken ego, But I can’t fight reality.
It doesn’t matter how punctual I was in high school, having kids changes it all. I’m ok with it, really, I just wish everyone else was too.