Author: littleyellownotepad

Motherhood

How a customer service rep made me a better parent

littleyellownotepad

Customer service

The caller ID said North Carolina. Hmm, I don’t know anyone from there. I picked up the phone with a cautious hello.

“Can I speak to M—— or L—— ?” said the professional voice.

I nearly dropped the phone. Who wants to speak to my 9 year old and 6 year old?

“Is this 9**-***-***2? Do I have the right number?”

“Yes, you do. What’s this concerning?”

“We’re calling from Blackboard Collaborate. They downloaded the 30 day free trial and we want to see if they are happy with the service.”

I nearly laughed out loud. No, I would not share their age!

“Thank you for the call… Yes its working fine… They will call you if they need help… Thank you for your concern.”

And I hung up. And finally laughed out loud.

You see, my children attend a unique school – it’s all online! The Shluchim Online School is a religious school that affords them the ability to access high-level Jewish education even when it’s not locally available.

It’s quite different than attending a “regular” school, its all online. Yes, in a classroom; with rules and permissions and a whiteboard and friends, just that they’re on webcams and across the globe. It’s truly a marvelous use of technology. And the kids learn and love it too.

Now, the platform the school uses to run this program is Blackboard Collaborate, which I now know is based in North Carolina.

And so when the kids “hang out” with their friends across the country and play “School”, they cleverly figured out how to make their own online classroom. It is the “in” thing with their friends; download a free 30 day trial of the platform and you get to run the show! Once you have your own classroom, you can invite friends and rule the room! Oh the joy the kids get from being able to control the classroom, turning off each other’s mics and webcams.

And to think this poor company in North Carolina imagines that they have dozens of potential customers downloading their trial software when in truth, its a bunch of third graders!! I kinda felt bad for them; perhaps business wasn’t quite as good as they thought!

But hey, maybe they did know they were dealing with kids. Maybe they were just efficiently serving these little guys with great customer service. The way they treat everyone else, they were treating them like real people!

That got me thinking: They may be little people now, but people indeed. Adults of the future. They have ambitions and concerns. Sure they’re mischievous and limits-pushing too! And precisely at those challenging moments, I take a deep breath, zoom out and remember the bigger picture; these little guys will be successful adults one day.

And that helps me navigate the chaos that comes along with getting them there.

This leaves me wondering; what type of customer service do I offer my children?

When my 9 year old excitedly reports he wants to be an engineer for Lego because he knows the ins and outs so well, do I follow up with him, motivate him, like the Blackboard Collaborate reps did?

When my 6 year old thinks he’ll be a world class juggler because he can throw (but not catch!) juggling balls; do I even offer him a trial period?

When my 4 year old wants to vacuum the house (which really is NOT a help!) do I give him a chance or brush him aside?

Yes, I do think the Blackboard Collaborate guys have it right; our kids deserve the best customer service.

Behavior & Discipline

I can’t control my kids. (And I won’t.)

littleyellownotepad

IMG_20140216_214021

Whose kids are they anyway?

I catch my husband’s eye and sigh in annoyance; can’t someone control these guys?

My husband gives me a knowing look and nods, sharing my frustration. Where are the parents?

But I look around at the crowd and see that it’s pretty obvious; the secret is out, and I can’t pretend much longer. After all, they kinda do look like their father.

It’s our monthly community dinner and it’s apparent that everyone, my  kids included, are enjoying themselves. One is lounging under the table, one is eating chummus with his fingers, oblivious to the guy sitting near him. Hmm, I notice his seatmate leaning as far away from him as possible…I don’t blame him, looks like his suit is dry clean only. Brothers 3&4 are in middle of a game of who-can-finish-all-the-soda-in-this-room-first. Thankfully the two little ones are home with the babysitter!

Yes, they’re mine, and I’ll take care of it.

Can I control them?

Actually, no, I can’t control them. More accurately, I don’t want to control them.

I want to teach them.
Guide them.
Discipline them.
Love them.
Reprimand them.
Praise them.
Kiss them.
Hug them.
Influence them.
Motivate them.
Be a good role model for them.
Listen to them.
Talk to them.

But I won’t control them. I won’t control my kids.

There are many things in my life I do control; like my laptop. When it’s acting impudent or pushing my patience, I control it. With a click of
the lid, I snap it shut and I win. I control it.

When my oven starts overdoing my food, I just hit cancel and ta da, its off. I’m in full control.

When my phone rings and I’m not talkable, I swipe the decline icon and just like that, I control my phone.

I have higher expectations for my kids; I want them to be successful, passionate adults. I don’t want them to grow up and be little gadgets or robots; ones you can control by switching them on and off.

I want them to thrive. I want them to be people.

And so I won’t control them.

But I will continue to teach them to eat chummus with a spoon.

Life in General, Motherhood

A Facebook-worthy Family Photo

littleyellownotepad

1535720_10152119162180923_1070357627_n

Just about every friend out there has one. And If you’re one of the few who doesn’t, I’m sure you go to sleep at night feeling like you’re the only one out there who can’t get it all together.

Well, I was  one of the inadequate few who didn’t have the Facebook-worthy photo to brag about; until about a month ago.

Truthfully, I’m usually on top of the annual family photo and we do it every summer. But although it was 18 months later, and there was a new member of the family since then, I still recalled the details of that photo shoot too vividly. Kids running in all directions, bribes, threats and finally plea bargaining…

We had gotten our Facebook worthy photo and left, with a silent promise that the next family photo would be at my oldest son’s wedding (he was 7!).

Well, that all changed last month.

I was feeling the pressure; we needed a family photo. And an outdoor one at that. Besides for the beauty of the outdoors, a bonus would be that we wouldn’t be disturbing other families (whose kids were always so well behaved!) from their photo session.

So we set a time and place, a darling pond across the street from my home; and a dear, talented, photographer friend offered to take our photo.

Picture day arrived. All was going well until it was time to get dressed. I gave all the boys their required white shirt/denim pants. Within two minutes, they were dressed and ready to go.

And then it was time to tell my daughter what she’d wear. I had it all worked out. With just me and her as the girl team, I chose clothing we had similar. It would be so cute! Apparently, she didn’t think it was cute.

She chose that moment to give me a prelude to her teenage years.  After all, the boots I suggested were so uncomfortable. The skirt was too straight, she couldn’t run in it. (You’re not supposed to run while taking family photos!!) The shirt was her least favorite. The socks were itchy. And the bow pulled at her hair.

And there I found myself once again bribing, begging and plea bargaining…

My Facebook-worthy photo was crumbling before my very own eyes.

I compromised…and compromised…and compromised…reminding myself that this was a battle not worth fighting.

And off we went to meet the rest of the crew. They were already assembled at the pond. A quick team meeting; laying out some rules, expectations and rewards. And then my husband and I put on determined smiles, because we were committed to making this enjoyable.

The photographer told everyone to smile, and two of them frowned.

He said everyone lean in, and one leaned out.

Everyone hands around each other, and three ducked out of the photo.

Everyone look at the camera, and the baby looked the other way.

And then they wandered off to throw pebbles in the pond. I was sure one of them would end up in the pond.

But they were having fun!

We tried a walking photo. Not much interest.

A running photo – that went over well.

The kids were clearly done. Our photographer assured me he had some good shots.

They went back to running. Through the grass and up the hill. And then back to throwing pebbles. Watch the camera! Careful of the equipment! But clearly they were making good memories.

And boy was I surprised when the next morning I saw an email from the photographer with a Facebook-worthy photo!

And like all good moms do, I posted it for the world to see. And I watched the likes go up. And the comments.

And marveled how easy it is to fool each other with our Facebook-worthy photos.

We all do it. We post photos that hide the reality.

If only those photos could talk and tell us the truth. What REALLY went on in those moments before and after the photo.

Now that would be posts worth reading, posts that would brighten our day!

Life in General

Peanut Butter Lover’s Smoothie

littleyellownotepad

IMG_20140213_210734

Some days are just smoothie days. You can feel it in the air. It hits me at different times; either at a rare moment when the house is quiet and I’m home alone or when the noise level is getting too high and I need a good distraction to get things back on track for the young folk. When it’s the latter, I’ll randomly call out if anyone wants a smoothie and just like that, all problems are solved and everyone is at my side.

My most important go-to kitchen gadgets are all within arms reach; no climbing or digging behind piles of stuff; just there to be grabbed at a seconds notice. And among my most important items, is my hand-held immersion blender. Don’t know how people survived before its invention!

I use a big tall measuring cup, dump all the ingredients in, in goes the blender. Best of all, everyone can have a turn pressing the button (don’t lift it higher than the liquid if blender is on!!)

I do think, though, that what the kids love most about smoothies is the straws. Don’t know what it is about it, but kids love straws!

I came across this one while browsing online on a random mommy blog; if you’re a peanut butter lover like I am, I can guarantee you will love this one! (And if you’re the anti banana type, give this one a shot; the peanut butter pretty much hijacks all the other flavors.)

All you need is three ingredients:

 IMG_20140213_210348

3/4 c milk (soy, rice, almond, regular)

1 tablespoon peanut butter (more or less to your liking; all natural or unnatural, whatever suits your health concerns)

1 frozen banana (I use the ones that have overstayed their welcome on the counter; I throw it in the freezer so I always have one available)

You can use any type of blender; immersion blender is just my favorite (and only takes 3.5 seconds to clean after you’re done.)

So of the 7 tasters yesterday (myself and my husband included) this one got a 5 out of 7 vote, which is pretty good considering majority of the voters were hard-to-please kids!

Motherhood

A Picture Perfect Snack Time

littleyellownotepad

1024px-Milk_and_chocolate_chip_cookies%2c_with_puzzle_in_background

The air smells of freshly baked goodies; on the table sits an ornate, ivory porcelain tray filled with perfectly round chocolate chip cookies. A tall glass of milk stands proudly by each seat.

Little feet walk calmly into the room (after washing their hands, of course) and politely sit down to enjoy our 3 PM snack. We talk about our goals and needs, share insights and inspiration.

I smile to myself as each child waits for his/her sibling to finish talking before sharing their thoughts. No one talks while chewing.

So well behaved!

Everyone finishes up, wipes the table clear of crumbs and goes on their way.

And then I open my eyes.

Pounding, stampeding, shoving and talking loudly, my boisterous crew storms the kitchen, ready for snack.

As fast as only a mom can do, I peel and slice apples; some rectangular, some triangular; some with peels, some without peels; with stems and without stems, all custom ordered. Whoops, it wasn’t rectangular enough. Quick fix and it’s better. Uh oh, still a .01 cm of stem left; my mistake.

Brother #3 pushes brother #4 off his chair and brother #2 knocks  sister’s plate on the floor.

Phew, everyone is settled.

And then everyone is talking at once. They share details of their vivid dreams (amazing how brother#4 always has the same dream as brother #1!). They talk about games they invented, crafts they made…I catch every fifth word and nod enthusiastically.

Such excitement! Such energy!Such a great group of active kids!

Forget the porcelain plates. The cookies. The milk.

That was how I thought it would be- before I had kids. Oh boy am I the wiser now!

It took some months (ok, years!) till I discovered that it was me who set the bar of a picture perfect snack time. I was the one  who had set the unrealistic expectation!

And since the day that I realized that I was the one who had painted the cookies and milk image, I took the liberty to remodel it.

And while I was at it, I changed the definition of picture perfect too!

I gave up on the impeccable snack time illusion and embraced my reality of  “picture perfect.”

And they’re off. Before I could even give out drinks!

Today is not one of the days I’m going to reprimand them for leaving a mess behind. They’re too busy with more important things. There’s a whole world out there for them to explore and I know they’re working on it!

(And I confess, I don’t think they washed their hands before eating. )