Dear Teacher, Sorry we were late

Dear Teacher,

I’m sorry we were late today. I was sure we’d be on time. I hope you believe me when I say that I had the best intentions.

Everyone went to sleep on time last night so waking them up today was pretty simple; my 5 year old was hard at work in the playroom coloring when I came out of my room. Some mornings he gets dressed as soon as he wakes up, but today didn’t seem to be one of them.

My 12 year old was already in the shower – the day seemed to have all the high hopes of getting there on time. And today is Wednesday, when we need a few extra minutes because of the coinciding drop off time at the neighboring public school.

I prepare protein shakes, the breakfast of the week that everyone still approves of, and set them out on the counter. I’m humble enough to know not to brag about this healthy breakfast choice because the kids can change their mind about it at any given time.

I head over to wake up the rest of the kids. One by one sleepy eyes open and I cheerfully remind everyone of the order of tasks for the morning; negel vasser, brush teeth, get dressed, brochos and eat; when all that’s done they can read or play.

I head back to the kitchen, make my coffee and get the lunches together; snack is prepared the night before, but my kids don’t like soggy bagels so i prepare them in the morning. Plain cream cheese on both sides, cream cheese and lox, tuna, cream cheese on one side and one kid who has a wiggly tooth and begs for a noodle soup. I cave.

I glance at the clock. We need to leave at 8:37.
It’s 8:15, still so much time.

I call to the kids who are still in bed to remind them to get out of bed. I call to the kids who are reading to remind them that reading goes after everything else is done.

I call to the kids who aren’t dressed yet and remind them to get dressed.
I dress my 3 year old and do her hair.

My 5 year old is still in the playroom. He says he doesn’t know how to get dressed by himself.

Despite the fact that he has done it every other day of the week and month.

Here’s where quick decisions start happening.
I believe that with children, every moment is a teachable moment – except for when they’re getting ready to leave to school.. During that intense time, there’s no teaching and only one goal: to get everyone to school, preferably happy.

Back to my 5 year old, who seems to have selective amnesia. 

I breathe deeply, do a quick inner debate between the pros and cons of enabling him to get his way and make an Executive Decision that if we want to get to school today, I will take him by the hand to his room and help him get dressed. The teachable moment will be for another day.

4 minutes and a smiling 5 year old later, 2/6 kids are ready to leave. 

Child 3 is still deciding what to eat; apparently the smoothie phase is over.

Child 4 can’t find his shoes, which he insists he put in the shoe closet.

Child 5 is merrily enjoying his smoothie.

Child 6 turns out to still be in bed, enjoying the quiet while listening to music on his mp3 player.

If we don’t leave in 7 minutes, we will be late.

I make said announcement and finish packing up the half dozen lunch bags so that they don’t get left at home.

Child 4 found one shoe but is looking for the other. (Neither one was in the closet.)

Child 3 finally decided on a bag of bissli for breakfast, which I had to nix.

Someone realized they didn’t do their homework and someone else can’t find their backpack which they insist they put on the hooks yesterday. (The didn’t – it was in the laundry room. I don’t know why.)

We pass the 7 minute mark and I know we will be late. And sit in traffic. And it’s going to be the type of day where someone needs the bathroom just when we finally get into the car.

Once again, it’s back to Executive Decision time.

I can turn on my drill sergeant command switch and get 6 screaming, crying kids in the car or I can ignore the clock, deal with each kid in their age appropriate way and get to school whenever we do.

And that, dear teacher, is why we were 17 minutes late.

Here’s the thing, though; not only did they all come to school, but I brought 6 happy kids to school. And to me, sometimes that’s more important than being on time.

Yes, I know how important your time is. I was a teacher too. I value all they are learning at school and all the time and patience you put into your lessons and your students. In all my years of being a student, I was late only once. Being on time has always been a top priority in my life. I appreciate all the advice on schedules and putting out clothes the night before. All of this is great – until real life happens.

To be honest, sometimes I wonder; am I setting my kids up for failure by coming late?

Or maybe I setting them up for real life, teaching them that the process, and the people effected by it, are sometimes more important than being on time.