What is it about the word “bedtime” that makes kids hungry?
I really believe kids are hardwired that way; the bedtime circuit is somehow intertwined with the hunger trigger and they just work as a team. And I’m talking full-blown-hunger hungry. The type that a kid will even eat a banana, which they always vehemently say they hate, but suddenly it’s tantalizing at the mention of getting ready for bed. They’re so famished they’d probably even eat kale or spinach. It’s true that kids today are different than they used to be, but not when it comes to bedtime.
When a friend shared with me a clip titled “Bedtime will never be the same after following this advice!” I was all ears.
“The reason your kids don’t want to go to sleep at night is because they have so little time with their parents, being in school all day and only an hour or two free in the evening! So of course they don’t want to go to sleep; that means they won’t see you for another 11-12 hours!” With a big smile on her face, this (self proclaimed?) sleep specialist continued with her brilliance. “The solution is simple! Spend the last hour before bedtime completely focused on your kids, give them everything they need and fill them up with your love, and then they’ll be ready for bed!” There was a look of triumph on her face. Considering that there were no bags under her eyes, I’m not even sure she’s ever been through a bedtime routine.
Noooooooo, I wasn’t going to take this one. Not everything in life can be blamed on incorrect parenting. Even if she said she was a sleep specialist, whatever that means. Because here’s the thing, after putting multiple kids to sleep daily for over 18 years straight, I think I win the title of sleep specialist too. Probably even more specialist than this self proclaimed specialist. And I completely disagreed with her.
I even had evidence to back it up. Coming after two solid months of mommy camp, spending all day with my kids, taking them places and hanging out with them ALL DAY – bedtime is still bedtime. It’s simply in the Secret Book of Kids Rules that bedtime is a time to be hungry and thirsty and ask a lot of questions. It’s like a chemical response to putting on pajamas.
I know, there’s probably another specialist out there who will challenge me and say, “Well were you fully present with your kids? Completely and totally present and not distracted?!” More mother guilt. What does completely present look like? Not just watching them play Lego, but should a mother be sitting IN the Lego bin?
Here’s the thing; we are what we call ourselves. And I’m a specialist. I’m the Grossbaum Family Specialist. And here’s the amazing thing; my husband is a Grossbaum Family Specialist too! So dear sleep specialist, your advice is nice theoretical advice, but I know my clients and I’m their specialist. And even better than that; I was exclusively chosen as my clients’ specialist and so was my co-specialist. Hashem chose me as the best mother for my children, and my husband was chosen as the best father. We are the greatest influencers our children will ever have.
To my fellow mother-turned-sleep-specialists out there, overloaded with guilt inducing advice from everywhere – don’t forget, you know your clients best. You are their specialist. And if your kids are starving at bedtime or suddenly need to know exactly how airplanes fly, it just means that they are normal, healthy kids who will fall asleep eventually. Hang in there.
Little Yellow Notepad 